The idea for this CD began when the prognosis for my cancer motivated me
to re-evaluate my life, what my achievements had been and what legacy I
would leave behind. I wanted to leave my wife all I could, so we came up
with the idea for this CD. The CD, in my mind, was to be a goodbye from
me to my wife. But, it has become so much more then that. It has become
something like a child that I have been able to watch grow and mature into
something special. Always remembering through the recording process, that
it is still my goodbye to her and that I am still fighting cancer. Those
of you who are fighting cancer or any other disease -- be strong and
remember that God loves you and will help if you ask him.
It seems like the good in life gets harder to find everyday. The song,
“The Battle Inside Me”, is a story about what a lot of us deal with
throughout our lives. We try to do what is right but it is so easy, in
today’s culture, to be tempted to do what’s wrong. This can cause
us to
doubt our worth in God’s eyes and can lead us further away from our
heavenly salvation.
As much as the members of Mixed Blessings enjoy the old Christmas
standards, we wanted something original and updated to our tastes. So I
sat down and wrote the song, “A Gift”. It has been a mainstay at many
of
our Christmas programs. And is probably one of the harder songs I have
written.
In the early stages of my cancer treatment, I didn’t feel that things
were
going well. I felt as if my health was slipping and that the odds of me
dying were not in my favor and getting worse. One day while pondering my
mortality, (song writers think of strange things) I imagined me and my
wife’s final conversation, wrote it down and put it to music. I hope the
release of emotion from “A Long Goodbye” will help people deal with
their
own emotions toward their loved ones before it is too late. As
emotionally painful as this song is to perform, it still helps to remind
me what the most important things in my life are.
This song started out originally titled “Better Then A Dirt Nap”.
It
morphed into the song, “Bury Me There”. The song looks at my life
and how
I just wandered through my younger years, trying my best to stay out of
the way and as invisible as possible. It poses the question, “what
happens next?”. Based on my realization that maybe I didn’t do all
the
good I should have, it also shines a light on and gives a little advice
with regards to some of the good I have in my life. First and foremost my
relationship with God -- and then there’s my wife. Remember, a good wife
can make you a better man. It did me.
“Candle In The Wind”, is a song about hope. Even though our lives
are
long and hard, there is always a chance that things in our lives will turn
out all right. But we must always be willing and ready to take the next
step every day. Living with cancer has taught me that the human spirit
can overcome almost anything.
Look at what we are doing to the world and its children. Our kids don’t
deserve our problems. Hopefully they’ll outgrow the damage we’ve done
to
them and find a way to fix all of the other stuff we’ve broken. That is
what “Cry For The Children” is about. I am embarrassed with what we
are
leaving our kids and my part in it. Maybe we can start fixing things
before we go.
“Did You Know”, started from an urge to write an old fashioned rock
song.
I wanted to try and get my church congregation up and moving. Well, I got
what I wanted, but it morphed into a Christmas song. How this happened I
do not know, -- this song was written in the middle of July. It is a
Christmas song that gets you up and moving, smiling and of course rocking
out.
Raised in a church that, in hind sight, seemed to teach me to question my
worth in God’s eyes. “For Me”, captures the feelings and questions
I’ve
had for almost my whole life, about the crucifixion of my Savior, Jesus
Christ, and why He would do that “For Me”.
As I venture through the middle part of my life with cancer, I have come
to understand a little better the need for prayer. It certainly comforts
me and puts direction in my life. With the song “I Pray”, I hope people
can relate to the situations in the verses and maybe recognize them in
their own lives, and see how prayer can help them as well.
I was sitting and watching some thunderstorms when this song came to me.
They were so beautiful to watch. The premise for the song, “Is This How
They Cry”, just came to me out of the blue -- or the clouds as the case
may be. After the question, “is this how the Angels cry?”, presented
itself in my mind, the song basically wrote itself. We often take for
granted the wonderment that is all around us everyday, like thunderstorms.
Their beauty and power can be very healing and cleansing to us, if we
would just take the time to look and see. I hope that this song might
help you look and see some of it as well. It took cancer for me to see
the world in this manner. I almost consider cancer a blessing for helping
me see the world differently. It surely did open my eyes in many ways.
I was watching the evening news and a story on the television caught my
attention. It was about this youngster, maybe 13 years old at the most.
A gang member, going to the penitentiary for life, as an adult. As I was
able to look into his eyes, he looked so lost and empty. The emotion for
writing “Seeking Grace” came from the sorrow I felt for that child.
If you believe that everyone has angels in their lives, then you
will be able to relate to this song. I was laying in a hospital bed not
doing real well, surrounded by my friends/angels, when I realized how
special my friends were to me and what it meant to me that they were
there. The idea for the song “The Best I Can” was in my head and stewing.
At some point I needed to escape from the daily drudgery of cancer
treatment, so I removed myself mentally to a better place. That place,
with my friends in mind, is where this song was written. I wrote this
song in honor of their friendship and unwavering support. They always
help me stand strong, especially through the worst days. Everyone
deserves friends/angels like I have.
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